For me, it was a hiking trip to the Grand Canyon. If you’ve ever been to the Grand Canyon, or seen pictures of it, it’s pretty clear that there are some significant cliffs and drops and ridges. But ah, the beauty! How could any place so majestic, so serene, so awe inspiring, so spiritual, instill such terror into an innocent first-time visitor?

I was soon to find out. In the past, I had a fear of heights, which I thought I’d overcome. Not! (Perhaps hiking down into the Grand Canyon was not such a good way to test that). We did several trails while there, and the hardest was a 7-mile stretch of the Hermit Trail on the South Rim with a 1700 ft. elevation change. The highest point on that trail is over 6,600 feet, and the lowest 2,400 ft, so wherever you are on the trail it’s a long way down!

I have to admit, I was petrified! I was with a group, and two very competent guides, and…I did not want anyone to see my fear or to be held back by it. I’m just not used to being so vulnerable in front of other people. So I cried, silently. I sweated, profusely. I lost my appetite. I moved along the trail in baby steps. And I fooled no one. In fact, one of the other hikers said to me, “I could feel your fear.” Imagine how that made me feel! And as it turns out, I was not the only one who was scared. I just happened to show it (as much as I thought I was hiding it).

Here’s the good news: I survived! By allowing myself to be vulnerable and to completely rely on my team and our leaders I got through it. This gave me the boost of confidence and support I needed to push myself to complete something that was terrifying for me. If I had been on my own, I would have turned back and would never have realized how fantastic it feels to feel the fear and just keep going.

And here’s what I learned:
• Mother Nature is very powerful and she really does rule the world.
• We need to occasionally take stock of who we are in the context of the bigger world – do I love what I do? Am I making a difference? What are the things that really matter?
• It’s OK, and in fact recommended, to rely on others.
• Patience is a virtue. It took 5-6 million years for the Grand Canyon to become the majestic masterpiece it is. Maybe instant gratification isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
• Feeling fear is OK and actually good. (I don’t recommend being terrified, however).
• Embrace adventure – stretch everything you think you know about yourself.

Hiking the Grand Canyon was a wonderful and enlightening adventure. I’m very proud of my accomplishment. I might even try it again. Someday. In the meantime, there are so many other adventures to pursue!

Till next time,

Karen

The post Conquering Fear in the Grand Canyon – One Step at a Time appeared first on PeopleThink.

Plan. The longer you wait the harder the conversation will be. You may think that the issue will eventually go away – and it may – but a similar issue is likely to arise at some point and you will regret not dealing effectively with the first one.  Decide whom you need to talk to and get some time on the calendar with them. Schedule a meeting place that is private and without distractions, and schedule it at a “lower-stress” time of day.

Prepare. Think about the following:  What is your goal with the conversation? What are the facts of the situation you want to discuss? What has been the impact? What questions can you ask to gain their perspective? Spend some time thinking about how the other person communicates and what they might need from you to be receptive. Do they need a lot of facts and details, or are they more of a “bottom line” communicator? Consider this in your approach. Focus on structuring your conversation so you start by creating a safe environment and then work toward a mutual solution.

Proceed. As Stephen Covey would say, “begin with the end in mind.” Clarify why you are having the conversation and establish a mutual purpose. You may find that they’ve anticipated this conversation and are relieved it’s finally happening. Maintain respect throughout. Ask for their perspective and find points where you can agree. If things get heated, take a break and then go back to your intent and desire for a mutually acceptable outcome.  There may not be one, and you need to be prepared for that. You may just need to agree to disagree. But by initiating the conversation, being clear about your intent, the facts, and your desire for a positive outcome, you will at least be opening the door for a more positive outcome in the future.

Certainly beats letting all stuff fester. And the next difficult conversation may not be quite so difficult.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Till next time,

Karen

The post Avoiding that Difficult Conversation? Don’t! appeared first on PeopleThink.

Oh the Places is about the opportunities and obstacles that show up in our lifetime and how to navigate them.

“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.”

Life is a series of choices.  Choices about career, relationships, where to live, the list goes on. And you can either sit back and wait, and wait, and wait for the choices to be made for you, or you can choose to be bold and explore. You never know what opportunities might await, and what you might learn in the process.

“It’s opener there in the wide open air.”

Will there be occasional difficulties and setbacks? Of course. The true question is, how will you handle those setbacks?  Will you retreat back into the “waiting place?” Or will you look at the positive side, see the best in the situation and forge ahead? There is learning everywhere – especially in the bumps along the road.

“On and on you will hike.
And I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.”

All too often we get caught up in the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” cycle of regrets and self-doubt that not only limit our thinking, but also immobilize us from moving on to all the new experiences and opportunities that await.

“Life’s a Great Balancing Act.”

So acknowledge the past, but focus on the future. Take it all in, learn from it and enjoy every minute. The road is not always smooth, but the journey is an amazing gift that we need to cherish and give it our all.

“And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)”

Till next time,

Karen

The post Oh the Places…Navigating Life with the Wisdom of Dr. Seuss appeared first on PeopleThink.

As leaders, we often get so caught up in our day-to-day responsibilities that we forget to think about how we come across to the people around us, and how their actions, communications and concerns may be driven by their perception of the persona we put forward. When was the last time you took a long gaze in the leadership looking glass? Are you showing up at work as your authentic self or is there a mask that gets in the way? In honor of Halloween, let’s look at some typical masks a leader might wear. Do you recognize yourself in any of them?

The Super Hero

You have confidence, boundless energy and can seemingly handle any problem that comes your way (“Bring it on, tall buildings!”) You are protective of your team. In your need for speed you often charge ahead with activities that could be delegated.

While your team may admire your ability to “handle it all,” they’d like the chance to solve issues and take on more responsibilities and, perhaps, risks themselves. They may be hesitant to give you honest feedback or make alternative suggestions as you appear to have it all under control.

The Alien

You’re distracted right now – could be the job, could be personal issues – and your mind seems to be on another planet. You’re communicating less frequently with your team, and you appear out of touch with their projects and issues.

Your team is wondering where you parked the UFO. They miss their leader, and are frustrated with the gap left by no clear direction.

Your lack of communication has made them stop trying. Some are considering
abandoning ship.

The King

You may ask for ideas and input, but in the end you like things “your way.”

You have tendency to redo your team’s work rather than discuss or give them constructive
feedback because it’s faster and, well, you know how it should be done. You sing “I Did It My Way” in the shower.

Your team is beginning to lose confidence in their skills and ability to make an impact. They’re hesitant to make suggestions because they know they’ll be rejected or ignored. Some are beginning to wonder why they show up at all.

Angry Bird

You’re not happy at work right now and it shows in your attitude. You snap at team members and colleagues, you have no patience for work that is less than what you expected or later than when it was due, no matter the reason. You delegate as much as possible. You’re frequently unavailable.

Your team is feeling overworked and underappreciated. You appear unapproachable so they’re afraid to communicate their thoughts and feelings to you. The less you communicate with your team, the less they communicate with each other. The silos have been built, and collaboration is not a priority.

At Halloween you can put on a mask and be whoever you want to be. But Halloween is one day. The rest of the year you need to remove the mask and be a strong, dependable, and visionary leader. Only then will you be able to move yourself, your team and your organization forward.

Till next time,

Karen

P.S. We have launched our new website!

The post The Leadership Looking Glass – What Mask Are You Wearing Today? appeared first on PeopleThink.

Yes, we all have that little person sitting on our shoulder that says to us “are you crazy, you can’t do that” or “you do not have the guts to pull that one off” or “you’ve never done that before, what makes you think you can do it now?” There is not a human being alive who does not have doubts about something they want to achieve. For some, those doubts will fuel us. For others, those voices will stop us in our tracks and paralyze us. It is easier to go do the wash. Yes, indeed this is true.

Stand tall, be confident, provide the reasons you are the right fit and candidate for the position and push through that F-E-A-R. Own it, make it yours and get that new job.

Fear is an overwhelming emotion. Susan Jeffers says – “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Well, that’s very easy to say; however, making it a reality is taking it to another level. What we have to do is really think through what our personal Show Stoppers are. What stops us in our tracks and prevents us from getting that next work assignment? What stops us in our tracks and prevents us from taking the leap and becoming an entrepreneur, going back to school for something we’ve always wanted to learn – doing whatever will help us fulfill our dreams? It’s that darn four letter word – F-E-A-R.

As I began to write The Get Real Guide, I realized that in a lot of my personal career development work the focus was on accomplishments, skills, etc. No one was asking me, “what is preventing you from doing what you want to do?” Now, I did all types of work around what I wanted; however, I wasn’t answering that dreaded question – What gets in your way? I realized that I was very similar to others, yes, I was confident, yes, I wanted more and yes, I had “stuff” that kept messing with my head. I had to address that “stuff.” UGH…is just about all I had to say.

So, yep, if you have read or worked with me, you know what is coming next…ya gotta get stuff down on paper. If you can see it, you can own it and then you can do something about it. So, what’s on your list? Write down 5 Show Stoppers that have gotten in your way in the past. The reason I say 5 is because we don’t want you to get carried away and then completely get overwhelmed by what you think you have to “fix.” Five is plenty. This can be tough because you have to own what you don’t do well. Here are some Show Stoppers from The Get Real Guide. Do any of these resonate for you – argumentative; arrogant; closed-minded; defensive; fear of success (it ain’t just failure some of us are afraid of); insecure, lack of goal setting; perfectionist (yep, I said it – are you a perfectionist?); timid.

Now, take a look at your list. As you look at your list of Show Stoppers, think about specific times when they have impacted your life, your decisions, your career. Why and how did they make an impact? As you look at each one, write down next to it what you are going to do the next time it rears its ugly little head. An example – fear of success. As crazy at it sounds, a lot of people are afraid of success. If this is on your list, how are you going to overcome it? What success are you afraid of? When did it impact you? What do you want next for yourself where you believe it will show up? What measures are you going to take to squash it? You want to be thinking about this prior to ‘it’ showing up. If you have an opportunity for a job promotion, or you have an opportunity to interview for a new job in a new company, be prepared and show ‘em what you are made of. Stand tall, be confident, provide the reasons you are the right fit and candidate for the position and push through that F-E-A-R. Own it, make it yours and get that new job.

Doesn’t that all sound so easy? Hardly! It takes work. It takes confidence in yourself and it takes a plan. And, you know what, you are worth it!

Till the next time… Don’t Stop Believing!!!

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