I Am What I Am

As long as you are hangin’ with me during our walk through The Get Real Guide, I will make one requirement. There will be NO shoulda-woulda-coulda in your vocabulary. Let’s not deny that every single one of us has played the shoulda-woulda-coulda card at some point in our lives. Heck, some of us like it so much that we use it all the time. I shoulda gone on that job interview 15 years ago. I woulda been a millionaire by now and wouldn’t have to work another day in my life. If only I coulda gotten that promotion, I’d be the big boss now and tell these people exactly the right way to do things around here. Yes, you can laugh because it is rather amusing. It is human nature to relive our decisions and actually believe they “coulda” been better. Well the fact is, you made the decisions you made. It’s time to move beyond them now, and make some new decisions.

My point is, we have to take the negativity out of our vocabulary. What we say is what we believe, and what we believe becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. I can’t look for a new work opportunity, there are too many bills to pay. What if I don’t get the job, then what? I can’t spend time working on myself, I have a family I have to take care of. They need me. I am depressed just writing these statements.

How about flipping those statements around a bit? Let’s try. I am so excited to be looking for a new work opportunity. I have bills to pay and I will be able to pay them off because I will make more money. Heck, I will be able to go on vacation, too. Let’s try the next one. Wow, I am going to get that job and begin the next chapter in my career. Things are looking up and I am thrilled. Oh…now don’t they sound a tad more worthwhile and uplifting? Let’s try the last one…I love being able to spend time thinking through what I want to do next in my career. My family is so supportive. They keep commenting on how my moods have changed, how I have more energy and I am just more fun to be around. WOW. Now, which set of sentences sound/feel better to you? The energy surrounding the last three is so positive, so filled with possibilities and life. Which person would you rather be around – Negative Nelly or Positive Penelope?

Enough said…NO shoulda-woulda-coulda…

As long as you are going to be looking for new work, why not find work that maps directly to your natural talents? What are natural talents? you ask. Natural talents are those abilities that are so much a part of you that you often forget about them until someone points them out. These are the innate skills that evoke such comments as you make that look so easy, you’re a natural, or, how did you do that? None come to mind? Oh, come on! What if I were to say to you, I’ll give you one million dollars if you do not use for the rest of your life. What could you not give up for one million dollars?

I know what you are thinking. Is she crazy? I could give up anything for one million dollars. Really, I say? Let me explain.

One of my core values in life is to laugh often and laugh very loud. If I have one day that goes by where I don’t have a really good belly laugh, I am cranky. And, I promise you that is not a very nice sight. Just ask my husband! What I have realized through the course of my life, is that not only is humor a core value of mine, it is also a natural talent. I bring my humor to every aspect of my life. Whether I am in work-mode, or play-mode, I use my humor. It is just natural to who I am. I use it in so many ways – to break the silence, to bring up a difficult subject, to crack a joke. I just flat out can’t help myself. Humor is what keeps me alive!! If someone came to me and said I will give you one million dollars to no longer use your humor, I would not be able to accept the money. In fact, there is no number I can put on it. I just know that as long as I am living I will use humor in my life. That, my friends, is a natural talent. Take a moment, think about what you would not give up at any price. List 3-5 natural talents. Come on, you can do it. If you are still stuck, ask someone close to you what they think your natural talents are. I’ll bet they will tell you about talents you never realized you had. Think back over your career and life accomplishments. What are the natural talents that helped you succeed? Maybe you have a natural talent of inspiring others, or teaching, or managing. Come up with your own list of natural talents.

Do you see why it is so important for you to pay attention to your natural talents while in job search mode? If you do what is core to your being, it will be effortless. You won’t have to work so hard at it. You will do it no matter what is required of you. Look around you. Those people who are using their natural talents in their work are often the ones who are most happy and successful. Take Steve Jobs. His natural talent is to create. He cannot help himself. And I am truly grateful for his natural talent as I am using my iPod right now to help inspire me while writing this blog. Thank you, Steve. And, thank you, Bruce, for the inspirational music. Bruce is another one who uses his natural talents every, single day and can’t not use them. Where’s my guitar?

Till the next time…

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